It's Been A While But I Still Feel the Same
by atrialbyfire
Summary: a tasty little one shot in which Stefan reminds Elena why she chose to turn.


Five days. Five agonizingly long days. That's how long it had been since she'd made the choice, the one that had altered everything. She supposed, looking back at it, that she could have done it had she truly tried, turned away, denied the blood and remained human up until her dying breath. But then she'd seen his face, chiseled cheeks and green eyes and she'd made the conscience decision then and there to drink up, because she supposed she could live forever if he was living along beside her.

Since then they'd been busy trying to keep her appetite under control. Caroline and Stefan had argued the matter for too many long minutes to count, bunny blood versus bags, an animal against a human. In the end, it'd been Elena who'd decided the matter, and the next day she and Stefan had taken to the trees, where he'd showed her the fine art of hunting. She'd watch each charismatic act, mesmerized, at least until the kill had been made, and then all shreds of wonder fell beneath the bloodlust.

"It won't control you forever, soon enough the initial hunger will fade," he promised, his hand reaching up to cup her cheek. She leaned into the touch, the soft pad of his thumb running along her skin in circles.

"I know," she assured him with a sigh before she pulled a weak smile out of her reservoir. "I think I'm just going to take a shower."

"Okay," he gave her a smile in return, though it faltered once she'd turned her back, and she could feel his stare all the way up the staircase.

She knew she was worrying him, but she wasn't entirely sure how to stop. She couldn't control the twitchy edge that now fired in her nerves, the lethargic pace of her actions as she attempted to keep a human speed even when every newfound instinct screamed at her to move faster, go at it harder - be fierce, the voice whispered. A voice that frightened her because every time it sprung up in the back of her mind she felt herself waning just a little more as the urge to give in overwhelmed and consumed her.

Slender fingers worked at the material of her clothing once she'd closed the bathroom door, and in no time she was standing in only her skin, the dim light in the ceiling casting an ethereal glow over olive flesh. Even the mirror had become her enemy. She stared into it in silence, loathing her reflection, scouring it as if for some physical proof of how she was different. Her arms reached across her chest, and a nail idly picked at her shoulder. Blood sprang to the surface, and in that quiet moment she found comfort in the fact that she was still breakable - but then the wound closed, and everything was again different.

"Elena."

She turned sharply, feet slipping over the tiles on account of the speed.

"Stefan.."

She stared at him a moment, not expecting him to have surfaced, and made a subtle gesture as if to cover herself.

"I'm sorry I just.. I smelt blood. I'll just step back o-"

"No," she cut him off, hands falling away from how they'd weakly risen across her chest, before her hips.. "stay, please," she begged weakly.

She wanted normal. All week she'd dealt with a dozen things she'd never wanted to be a part of, feeding, hunting, and a thirst that frightened her. She hadn't stopped to appreciate what had been right in front of her, the one who'd been there to help her through everything so far, who represented everything that she longed so desperately for. - what was good in her life. The one who'd made her life worth living.

He needed no further reassurance.

In a moment he was in front of her, the door closed behind him. Her face became framed in his hands and he studied her, as if some priceless work of art, soft features and doe eyes. He meant it only as a gesture of reassurance, comfort, but then somehow the space between their faces had dwindled, and her lips were upon his, possessive and wanton.

She groaned into the contact, melting into the touch, finding that it was the same now as it had been then, if not better. There was a spark there that hadn't ignited before, and it drew her body closer to his, like a magnet. Energy burned between them both, and she moved in a blur, hands tearing at fabric where she meant only to grip and hold on tight. And then his body was flush against hers, no shred of clothing in between them.

Hands, so familiar in their strength and masculinity, ghosted along her sides before they secured at her hips and she felt herself being pushed back. She let him lead her, stopping only when she was pressed against the tile wall, glass surrounding either side of them. There was a crank, and she could vaguely recognize water falling unto her skin but all she could focus on was him - the path of his hands, the push of his hips against hers, his lips as they drove along her neck, claiming her in a dozen frantic kisses.

"Stefan," she called his name breathlessly, voice weakly struggling against the currents of sensation as they ran through her veins, heating her core.

He answered her with another bruising kiss, and she returned it eagerly.

For five days she'd been prisoner to her newfound nature, she'd wallowed in poor self-esteem and flirted with regret, self-assured that she could be only a monster. But five days ago she'd looked into his face and made the call to live, and now, again, he was reminding her exactly why. Yes, she was a vampire, she longed for blood and death, but she also longed for him - the one who continued to find a way to save her.

Biceps curled as he reached down and gripped her thighs tight, heaving her up so she could appropriately wrap her legs around his waist. She needed no further urging. Locking her ankles in the groove of his back, she intertwined them. Heat blurred her senses, the fire focused at the apex of her thighs, right where she could feel him pressed.

It was only in that moment, as he pulled back to face her, that time seemed to slow. His stare captivated, eyes locked with his, she found it impossible to turn away, and so could only stare back, doe browns wavering under thick lashes. In that slow span of time she felt him, one slow push and then he was sliding in, completing her. She could have screamed for all she knew, but all was silent, deafened beneath that singular heated gaze. Then, as soon as it had begun, it was over - the facade cracked beneath monumental pleasure as his hips rocked against hers, initiating a solid, steady pace.

Her fingertips grappled along the grooves of his back as he pushed further, harder. Overcome by the feelings he was inducing, she didn't even notice the way her nails had pressed too far into his skin, the blood that had bubbled up under the minute wounds. No, she was too enraptured, encumbered. The air was amass with a string of grunts, cries, and moans, each pulled from the very pit of her belly by his thrusts.

Lungs heaving with effort, she found it impossible to catch her breath as he drove her higher, her ascent a spiral of fire, lust, and love. And then she was seeing white, a great euphoria flaring beneath her skin and behind her eyes. She couldn't keep track of how many times she stumbled over his name as she fell from her peak, only that by the time she'd come down it was practically dribbling from her lips. Somewhere in between he'd met his own release, and had since buried his face in the groove of her neck, panting against her skin.

In that moment she saw the year two thousand and nine, the dim light of his room and the waiting sheets of his bed. She saw his body over hers, felt the way his fingers had curled with her own, reassuring, comforting. She saw a time when she'd professed her love for him as a human.

But not yet as a vampire.

Fingertips still red and trembling, she reached down with one hand and rested it over one of his, thumb playing over the ring circling his finger. The action drew his attention, and there he was again, staring at her, eyes clear, skin smooth and unblemished by veins - as was her own. It had taken Stefan and Damon decades to find their humanity, but hers was right in front of her, tethered to a love that had only intensified with immortality, to a man who'd made her glad she was alive.

"I love you, Stefan."

And he smiled, "I love you too, forever."


End file.
